Last week I missed my weigh-in because I overslept and while I could have gone to the evening meeting or to a different center with drop-in hours I decided to skip it instead. Part of the reason I think I skipped my meeting is because I knew I wouldn't have a loss. It's been a tough couple of weeks and while I haven't actually gone over my points I've used all of my bonus and all of my earned activity points which means that I didn't lose, in fact I gained and I'm tired of it.
The mental energy that I exert everyday to weigh myself, plan my food, count the points and track them is exhausting me. I spend way too much time focusing on what I'm going to eat next and how many points I have left in the bank. After a year of diligent tracking I'm just plan worn out.
The thing is, as tired as I am thinking about it and actively trying to lose weight it's really no more exhausting than carrying those extra 26 pounds was. When I was 26 pounds heavier I had a tough time getting up the energy to go out and run 5 miles. I didn't have a standing running date, heck, I didn't even think of myself as a runner. So, as tiring as losing weight is I know that there is no other option. I know that if I don't keep track and continue counting I can easily put those 26 pounds back on in the 3 months before we move to Texas.
So, even though I'm tired and even though I sometimes think "186.6 really isn't that much" I know that I will be healthier, faster, happier when I lose another 30 pounds. I guess that sometimes it's hard to imagine doing this for another year and getting to goal weight just in time to get pregnant and gain 35-50 pounds!
I guess I just needed to get that out there and find a way to bust out of this funk and get moving again. I know what to do and how to do it now I just need to get my head back in the game and remember that the next year is going to come and go and I can either stay the same weight, gain weight, or lose weight.
- I choose to lose weight.
- I choose to make positive changes in my life.
- I choose to stop making brownies and eating them when no one is looking.
- I choose to run faster.
- I choose to stop giving food power in my life.
- I choose to use food as fuel and not as comfort or anti-stressor
Life's all about choices, right? Well, these are my choices.