Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The stress of writing a dissertation

Maybe I should have stuck with my original plan to be an elementary school teacher. Yeah, the hours are terrible, the work is hard and the pay is just okay but man, I would have been done with school about 5 years ago. That's 5 years that I could have been earning an income rather than racking up the debt. I need to stop thinking about it though, I chose the path I chose and I just need to finish the race that I started over 6 years ago. I guess that if I hadn't chosen grad school and a PhD I would never have met my husband or my best friends. I probably wouldn't live in the Los Angeles area either. It's interesting what an impact that one decision that I made 7 years ago has had on my life.

Right now, I sort of wish that I had made a different choice or at least chosen to stay in Indiana rather than move while I'm still trying to finish up my dissertation. But, that's not the choice I made and now I'm struggling because of that choice. I am trying to work on my current round of revisions but I just don't want to, I don't care about this line of research anymore. I want to do other things with my career! Anyway, I guess I should turn my thinking around and get this done so that I can do those things. The quicker I get through these revisions the sooner I'll be able to move on with my research. Yeah, that's it, finish quickly so that I can move on.

Speaking of moving on, I applied for the visiting professor job. They finally approved the budget for it and I took in my application materials. Now I'm just waiting to hear whether or not I'll get to interview for the job. I really want this job. I want to teach, even if it is a lot of intro. I want to be back in the classroom interacting with students again.

Another thing that I want that really has nothing to do with my dissertation is to run another half marathon. I'm thinking Long Beach or the other Dreamin' series race in SoCal. I think I can do it and I really want something to train for. It's hard though when I can't really afford to buy new running shoes or sports bras. I know that the training will help relieve stress and make me feel better though. I'm going to start small and build up to it. It will also help me with my weight loss goals which have really stalled the last few months. I'm working on it though and I know that it will all come together soon.

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